Conclusions
Artwork by Waz Thomas
The sky this morning was different for the week - a little pink and blue and grey. The temperature sits at 50 degrees fahrenheit. Today is Monday.
When the words do not come, then the sitting into the hours of the day is what happens. The effort to try and keep up with the various activities this time of year is getting harder. Mostly, justs being in quiet is what is deeply satisfying.
The environment - physical - is so important. Being able to see water, feel the difference in the air (even when it is cold), walk in silence, is a gift. As the body moves into a new stage of functionality given the wear and tear of decades of running around, the soul seems to expand. That's the connection between body and soul, it seems.
And thankfully, there are practices that can help to bring one to a place of possibility in expansion of the soul. It becomes less about the doing, as they say, and more about the "being.".
Once upon a time, the imagination brought a vision of being near the water, hosting quiet conversations, and providing nourishment to those who arrive. The nourishment, both for body and spirit, would allow for a different kind of opening - one in which the encounter itself would leave a person with a more settled feeling about living... and dying. Part of this vision is happening now.
The fact of all beings returning to nothingness has been only a superficial concept for many. If this fact was seriously understood, then people might find ways to sustain themselves with work that provides enough, would help others find their way as well, and would be far less violent and conflicted than what we are witnessing now.
There might be a chance to learn what love and life is all about. The love doesn't always come in warm and wonderful feelings. Sometimes it disappoints, causes hurt feelings, and even gets close to true, deep resentments. And... it is all part of the cycle of living. We experience these things, otherwise, one has to ask if they are truly alive, or simply existing in a way that will comfortably sustain a physical existence – and that too, will deteriorate.
Today, being an elder has opened up many awarenesses: things collapse, pain takes on new definitions and contours, the feeling of expanding into the universe begins to emerge, and everything one once thought to be clear cut, suddenly is no longer so.
It has been a true blessing to watch how life leaves the body through the parents that gave me this life.
The fact that the experience is happening at this stage in my life, makes it possible for greater appreciation to be a part of the journey. It is not a sudden departure that is taking place. It is a very long, hard road for everyone involved. Yet, it is a deep, precious, and enduring lesson about living. In this short time, it all happens: love, guilt, resentment, anger, frustration, helplessness, and the uncertainty of it all.