Debt
Image by Tu-2. Form is emptiness
The owing of things and non-things is part of living in today's world. Sitting in contemplation with the fact that the contours of one's life includes indebtedness is a blessing. It means one has been interacting with the rest of the world. One kind of debt can be balanced in a satisfying way, to know that another kind of debt is one that can be carried joyfully.
Receiving some benefit from using conventional currency is easy to understand - the transaction is solid, and if the goods do not meet the expectation that one holds, then there is almost always a return or exchange policy and protocol. This is so one gets exactly what one pays for in the transaction.
When it comes to non-conventional currencies - as in friendship, love, kindness - it's a different thing. The nature of the encounter/transaction is quite different in that the experience is one that has no value in the conventional space; rather, the receiving and giving are quite ephemeral yet very real in terms of how one sees their life. How can this be explained? It's difficult, but...
In living, the earth gives all that is needed without asking for payment- the air we breathe, the water we take up, the beauty shared in taking a walk by the ocean, hiking through the forest, edging up to waterfalls. No payment required. Just being there fills the soul with something that is so real that the words like "reinvigorated", "rejuvenated" and "resilient" are used to describe the impact of the experience. You can go on, you can feel the "reset" button being pushed. You can live another day. One can advocate for fairness and identify as a person of peace, but how fair is it to take such things from our reserve of natural resources without first "asking"?
The "ask" would be in the way of becoming conscious of what is happening, in fact. Thankful for the ability to have clean air to breathe, to have clean water that can be taken into food we eat and teas/coffees we drink, and to have access to the natural beauty that exists - so powerful and moving that one must stop and just watch, without words. Today, some try to capture the breath-taking vistas with phones and cameras - but in fact, the images are rarely as intoxicating as the actual experience. The indebtedness we are accruing for receiving such experiences, we forget. Every time we take in such things, a small prayer might be worth making and an awareness of the blessing being received would help.
In human relations, receiving kindness and care; delivering consideration and compassion; accepting that one sometimes must yield in the service of preserving peace - these are also among the transactions in life that create a sense of indebtedness. Even a momentary eye contact filled with love can ease the pain another might be carrying. Developing an ability to sense what is needed without being asked - is a kind of skill that human beings can develop, if they really wish to do so. Without these interactions and experiences, life would surely be bleak.
Be thankful for crossing paths with the human being who can deliver these experiences for they are the ones who make life truly rich. Look not only for the one who has enormous amounts of conventional currency, but one who has no thing (nothing) but an enormous amount of sensitivity, creativity, and heart. The one whose heart is not stuck in romantic notions of love, but in the firmness of knowing there is only so much time to live, and to live fully means something more than the transactions and objects required to get along in a world that is rapidly changing - perhaps imploding. Look for the one who understands big love.
That one is truly special. Somehow, the mastery of balancing life and Life has been realized. The ability to give something that is, as one commercial that invited people to go into more monetary debt used to advertise - "priceless.". Perhaps that one is you? Try sitting in the garden with that.